wow, still using this thing

i dunno what to do, shit for me lately, well, could be better in a lotta ways. i just been feeling horrible about shit. like, i checked this thing the other day and read through a lot of the old comments and i remembered everything that was going on when i was reading them. like girls. i didnt relize what i was doing to my girlfriends at the time, i didnt relize what i had then, compared to what i have now. which, is, nothing. so, if tiffani, samantha, the other samanthia, (i sound like a whore) and more recently katie, happen to read this. i want you all to know i'm sorry for everything. i didnt know what i had, you cared about me, loved me, everything i wish i had now. so, i'm sorry. if theres anything i can do for any one of you, please, let me know and i'll be happy to help. i looking to start a better life by treating everything nicely and respectively. the way someone should be treated. so i seriously doubt anyone that this is to will read this. but it's worth a shot and i just need to get this out. catch ya later

Hawkins

i've been taken...

For granted 

It’s coming back again

To say hello and leave in sin

Sleepless nights with you in mind

I gotta run so I can hide

Broken down and run like hell

My head is locked up like a shell

I should pass the time

By writing all these lies?

And just be with you

My dream is almost true

For granted, I’ve been taken for granted

Souls been stolen by a cold hearted fool

As you see him, the music blares, you start to drool

You lead me on

You stabbed me in the back

You never told the truth

So I’m cold and confused 

What have I done

To cause all this pain

Agony is my lust

Something I can’t trust

When I walk, I walk with vein

I can’t see so my eyes might strain 

To see you smile

And to be happy

It’s something I won’t see

Cause i can’t find it in you

For granted, I’ve been taken for granted

hey, whats up?

more lyrics but i didn't feel like updating

All this pain inside

Is has to go somewhere

It’s just a chip on my shoulder

Why can’t I shrug it off?

But I know what my life was like

Before all this shit happen

Is this what it’s like to be finally broke inside

Nowhere to hide

It’s dark in this place

I’m scared as hell

Please just let me watch the clouds go by

One last time

One little kiss

Turn into all of this

Can’t believe what you can not see in me

There is nothing really left

Just clothes and hopeless sex

I can’t get outta this past

It’s tearing me up

From the inside out

Is there any use for me

In this way we call life

I’m just a bird in it’s cage

Clipped wings so I can’t find

The reason not to leave you all

But just maybe I will find

The reason I’m alive

But it won’t come soon enough (just let be)

Just let be here

All alone

Waiting for you to come home

So we can start another fight

Leaving crying

Never really ever gonna change

Because we are all part of the game

I just wanna be heard

So no one else will get hurt

By this woman’s so called love

She’ll feed you all with lust

Like it’s a dyer must

And lead you on

To a path of hopelessness

She’ll hold you in her cage

Make you believe the lies

But you gotta be strong

Something I haven’t become

But one day I will see

The better of this shitty life

Or what was used to be

I wanna break away

And be with you today

But you’ve pushed so much

You’ve scared my life

Just fuck right off

Go torment another life

EDIT:

i will be very bored this break so if anyone wants to do anything at all. just call me.

662-4000

the best advice i'm ever got

I'm guessing someone needs to read this...cough* saun*cough*dra